Friendship: Pleasure, Utility or Virtue

I found myself as an innovator after this friendship binding energy curve, as I did not find any thing even close to this in any of the friendship citations. The reason can be, either it is a great work (a bit of exaggeration is good) or this is a lavish trash.
Lets not be too pumped up and settle with the great work. Leave the lavish part.
Also, here I must not take all the credit and must admit that the technical names are certainly inspired from some of the theories.

We befriend someone for three reasons viz. pleasure, utility and virtue.

It is very apparent here that pleasure and utility friendship are being carried over having a notion of getting some benefit in return. It looks like pleasure and utility friendships are at best deficient modes of friendship; by contrast, virtue friendships, because they are motivated by the excellences of your friend's character, are genuine, non-deficient friendships.

So the probability of friendship following bond1(good friends) curve is very close to the numeral 1 in the case of virtue friendship. Bond2 curve is a sort of friendship that never shaped up. Bond 3 curve did try to make headway. However it may be due to lack of commitment or drive that it never managed to sustain any turbulence, which is part and parcel of all relationships.

All the relationships/friendship starts with orientaion. This is followed by knowing a bit more than the face value. As face is also like a bikni which hides more than it reveals.
This stage is of aquaintance friendship. We generally make up our mind if we will be friends or not. And this is where bond 2 finds a different way from bond1 curve. If we tend to meet further we have transcended this phase and are nearing to another level of friendship.
It must be understood that making your friend totally dependent on yourself is not real friendship. The partner must be given scope for independent thinking even if it means he/she can do without you at the end. There is a need to care but simultaneously this caring is the need of friendship and not of the friend. This should always be clear that every persons’ space can be filled by another.
The next stage of friendship is more of a roller coaster ride if atall we care. There is a lot of chance that we do not echo the same thoughts. This results in lag between the thought process. And the result is misunderstanding. Now again if the friendship is based only on pleasure or utility, the friendship will not last. Hence, Bond3 curve shows declining tendency in friendship curve after the turbulance.On the other hand virtue friendship can go to another stage of friendship, friendship of trust.
The virtue friendship may also be in the turmoil if it is not sorted out. And the only way to sort out any confusion is discussion, an open discussion. But yes, it must be inititated. And one will initiate it only if he/she cares for the other partner. If we do not care about the partner than it really does not matter what he/she thinks. Maintaining silence always results in a cold war. Silence can always be taken as being “not interested in friendship anymore” or simply “introversion”. There is certainly a lot of room for wild thoughts. The result in either case is the bond3curve going to nadir.
If we follow a open minded discussion friendship sustains and carries on. Further, `Bond 1 is the curve for mutual self disclosure. It basically means friends share which they may not share with rest of the friends.
Sharing also starts when there is a feeling of positive vibes from the other person. This again strengthens the frindship. Also in this case of mutual self disclosure, we make ourself vulnerable to the other friend. This trust further strengthens the friendship.
This is bond1.
And as the friendship continues friendship tends to be good..hmm! may be best friends are made this way. And this certainly is a stable relation.


P.S. I was just nearing the end, when I had a small discussion with one of my really good friends. And I knew a disastrous way to show anguish. It was to be silent sine die. Therefore,I added the para for the need of open discussion.